Waitress: do you have any questions about the menu?
Me: what kind of font is this?
tsurioji: harusochinchin: how can oreos be gay anyway i mean its like a biscuit i googled gay cookie sex
chibisokka: When people say you spend too much time on the internet and you just scroll your eyes at them
turbodweeb: if you’re in a bad mood go to google translate and then paste “i inserted some fruits into my anus. yummy yummy anus fruits. fruity bum bum. just ram a peach up there” into the box and click on listen to audio
1612th: in like 5th grade my whole family was driving home from some trip and i was listening to “kids with guns” by the gorillaz on my ipod and it made me feel really rebellious because i was a kid and according to that song kids have guns so when we drove into the garage my dad was like “ok we’re home” and i said “shut up dad” and he just looked at me for a long time and didn’t say anything...
mumsawitch: On September 31st, 2013, Tumblr will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, stand on your dining room table, and do the macarena, all while singing, “I Will Survive”. After sending the video tape of the previous actions to me, then and only then will David Karp come down your chimney to tell you that your account will stay free. Pass it on, it must be...
polygamistpancreas: madokasan: every skrillex...
adrians: if I was in the hunger games I’d just get mcdonalds as a sponsor but instead of just eating the big macs they’d send me during the games I’d use them as bait to trap people and every time I’d made a kill I’d look up to the sky, give a thumbs and whisper “I’m lovin’ it”
tittytomatoes: when you don’t refill the toilet paper thinking “the next person can deal with it” and then later you go to the bathroom and theres no toilet paper because you were too lazy to before and then you have to deal with it
sextingthemasses: You know how I know Fairly Oddparents is made up? Timmy is allowed to wear a hat to school